My Mom was only a teenager when her mother died. For the life of me, I cannot imagine how my mother was able to survive in this world without her mother for all those years. And, I cannot imagine why I never asked her about it? Oh, don’t get me wrong – my mother spoke about her mother, always reminding me I was named after her, telling us stories, but what the heck was wrong with me that I didn’t ask my Mom how she survived the “firsts”: the first few days, weeks, months, Christmas, birthdays, and most especially, her first child? How did my mother cope when I was born without her mother?
I wish I had asked.
But, I’m pretty sure I know what her answer might be. I think my mother would have told me, “Suzie, we don’t know why sad and bad things happen. We don’t know God’s plan for us, but I sure as hell (my mother cussed) believe He has a plan for each of us. We can get mad at God. We can yell and cuss and tell Him we are mad. He can take it. And, when we don’t think we can take it, we can cry and cry. Then we have to wipe our eyes, pull ourselves together and pick ourselves up. Trust in the Lord! Life is a gift. Fight like hell and live it!”
Why did my mother so firmly believe in God? When her mother died, surrounded by her husband and six children, my mom the youngest and still a teenager, witnessed her mother sit up on her deathbed and say, “Here I am, Lord!” before she died.
Today I’ve been thinking a lot about my mom. One reason is Thanksgiving is coming and Mom always made the gravy and I make lumpy gravy. But mainly because of a new baby girl, named Amelia Lois, born on November 17, 2013. Baby Amelia Lois’s mother lost her mother very suddenly seven short months ago. Makes my heart ache. I cling to my mother’s advice to trust in the Lord. by Suzanne Ruff